I have been scrimping and saving for some time now but I still cannot save enough for my trip to Japan. So, I have decided to catch for myself a leprechaun. Why? Because it is the easiest way to get rich! Let me explain.
According to the wizardress (a female wizard), Madam Enid Blyton, leprechauns are the only ones who know where the end of the rainbow is and, everybody knows that at the end of the rainbow lies a huge pot of gold.
Why is it that only leprechauns know where the end of the rainbow is located? Well, according to mythology, all leprechauns are gold miners. In the old days, they mined the gold and buried them in secret hiding places. Unfortunately, leprechauns are also very forgetful; so they could not remember the places where their gold was buried.
One day, they decided to ask the Fairy Godmother for help. The Fairy Godmother, being a kind and helpful lady, waved her magic wand while reciting a secret magic formula (which I cannot reveal here because it has been copyrighted) and, lo and behold, a huge pot appeared at the end of the rainbow! The Fairy Godmother then advised the leprechauns to store their gold in the pot. “But what if others were to steal our gold?” the leprechauns chorused. With a serene smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, the Fairy Godmother replied calmly, “Nobody can steal your gold because only you can find the end of the rainbow. Others can only see the top half of the rainbow but not the bottom half because it is of the colours der, erango, welloy, nreeg, elub, ondigi and tiolev which only you can see.” So, it came to be that only leprechauns can find the end of the rainbow.
So how do you make a leprechaun take you to the gold? They are such misers.
I will let you in on a secret if you promise not to tell anyone. You promise? OK, I believe you. Leprechauns have one weakness; even greater than their love of gold is their fear of bathing. All one has to do is to pretend to make them take a bath and they would gladly take you to the end of the rainbow.
Now, has anybody seen a little old man with a beard dressed all in green like Robin Hood?
Monday 31 December 2007
Big leeches, small leeches
Taiping is situated at the foot of the Malayan Mountain Range. As such, there are a number of foothills around Taiping from which, rivers and streams flow slowly to the sea. Taiping is a town built from tin-mining. The tin-mining industry is over now and the tin dredgers have disappeared, leaving behind numerous mining ponds in ex-mining land – a bleak and barren land of white sand, pebbles and stones where only a few hardy shrubs and patches of tall grass called lalang can grow.
When I was about twelve, our family relocated to Kamunting, a small village about 5 kilometers away from Taiping and the last place to be mined. On weekends, my new-found friends and I would play in the ex-mining land that surrounds the village.
One morning, while we were washing our feet in a small river that meanders through this land, we noticed that there were “Buffalo” leeches in the water. (“Buffalo” leeches are large leeches about 10 cm long and 1 cm thick with brown variegation on its back. It lives in water and are frequently found attached to water buffalos, hence its name). We then decided to have some fun with these leeches.
We divided ourselves into two teams. One team dived into the river, which is about 30 feet wide, and quickly swam to the other bank, with the leeches in hot pursuit. One of them then dived into the water again and swam back to this side of the river, with the leeches following behind. When the leeches had reached this side, a member of the second team dived into the river and swam to the other side, with the leeches again in pursuit. Our relay race with the leeches went on and on and I cannot remember who won but, I do know that there was a bunch of very tired “Buffalo” leeches on that day.
Then, there are the “land” leeches. These are smaller, about 3 cm long and 3 mm thick, and are dark brown in colour. They move the same way as caterpillars do and are often found amongst wet grass. Sometimes though, they may just drop onto you from the branch of a tree.
One memorable experience I had with these smaller leeches was when two friends and I were climbing up a forested hill on the way to a durian orchard. When we reached a clearing, we decided to stop for a rest. We were chatting when one of my friends suddenly shouted, “Leeches!” and pointed to the ground about 20 feet away. When I looked, I saw an army of leeches among the grass, racing towards us! Needless to say, we hurried off up the hill.
On another occasion, I found a leech between my toes when I was at home in the kitchen. Pulling it off, I then threw the leech onto some burning charcoal in a stove. Imagine my surprise when the leech began to suck the flame from the charcoal, expanded like a balloon and then exploded. Apparently, these leeches will suck anything that’s warm, be it blood or flame!
However, these blood-suckers are not all bad. Leeches have anti-clotting proteins in their saliva which allow them to continue to draw a smooth flow of blood from their hosts. An anti-clog drug, called hirulog, derived from the hirudin protein in leech saliva, is already in the market. It is used to keep blood smooth-flowing and thus prevent that heart attack or stroke arising from a clogged artery.
When I was about twelve, our family relocated to Kamunting, a small village about 5 kilometers away from Taiping and the last place to be mined. On weekends, my new-found friends and I would play in the ex-mining land that surrounds the village.
One morning, while we were washing our feet in a small river that meanders through this land, we noticed that there were “Buffalo” leeches in the water. (“Buffalo” leeches are large leeches about 10 cm long and 1 cm thick with brown variegation on its back. It lives in water and are frequently found attached to water buffalos, hence its name). We then decided to have some fun with these leeches.
We divided ourselves into two teams. One team dived into the river, which is about 30 feet wide, and quickly swam to the other bank, with the leeches in hot pursuit. One of them then dived into the water again and swam back to this side of the river, with the leeches following behind. When the leeches had reached this side, a member of the second team dived into the river and swam to the other side, with the leeches again in pursuit. Our relay race with the leeches went on and on and I cannot remember who won but, I do know that there was a bunch of very tired “Buffalo” leeches on that day.
Then, there are the “land” leeches. These are smaller, about 3 cm long and 3 mm thick, and are dark brown in colour. They move the same way as caterpillars do and are often found amongst wet grass. Sometimes though, they may just drop onto you from the branch of a tree.
One memorable experience I had with these smaller leeches was when two friends and I were climbing up a forested hill on the way to a durian orchard. When we reached a clearing, we decided to stop for a rest. We were chatting when one of my friends suddenly shouted, “Leeches!” and pointed to the ground about 20 feet away. When I looked, I saw an army of leeches among the grass, racing towards us! Needless to say, we hurried off up the hill.
On another occasion, I found a leech between my toes when I was at home in the kitchen. Pulling it off, I then threw the leech onto some burning charcoal in a stove. Imagine my surprise when the leech began to suck the flame from the charcoal, expanded like a balloon and then exploded. Apparently, these leeches will suck anything that’s warm, be it blood or flame!
However, these blood-suckers are not all bad. Leeches have anti-clotting proteins in their saliva which allow them to continue to draw a smooth flow of blood from their hosts. An anti-clog drug, called hirulog, derived from the hirudin protein in leech saliva, is already in the market. It is used to keep blood smooth-flowing and thus prevent that heart attack or stroke arising from a clogged artery.
Saturday 1 December 2007
Kite-Flying Alone Is Not Much Fun
The Malaysian “cherry” tree can grow to about twenty feet tall. It has numerous lateral branches which grow horizontally. As such, from afar, it resembles an umbrella. It has small white flowers which bloom throughout the year. The flowers give rise to the small cherry fruit. The unripe fruit is hard and green but turns soft and succulent with a thin red skin on ripening.
When I was a kid I spent a lot of time up in the cherry tree which grew beside our house. It was my sanctuary. Whenever I had a fight with my brother, I would climb and stay up in the tree while he would be stamping around on the ground, fuming. Sometimes, he would pretend to go home but I was not that easily fooled. Soon, he would be furtively peeping from behind our neighbour’s house.
Up in the tree, I can lie down on a bed of branches with the foliage providing ample shade and I can watch when the bees, butterflies and birds drop by. The bird that I liked the most is small, fluffy, apple - green in colour and has a long, curved beak. It would hover and dart around the flowers and cherries with its wings flapping rapidly. I think it is a humming-bird. Sometimes I could spot a fellow “watcher” amongst the leaves. It is the tree lizard that we called the “tocket”. It is green in colour, about a foot long and has a fine, long tail. It has ridges on its back and a red patch on its cheek and is rather like a small salamander.
At times I would day-dream about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn along the banks of the Mississippi, the fairies, elves and leprechauns of Ireland, fishing in the South Sea Islands and so on. Sometimes I would even doze off.
You are most probably wondering why my brother did not climb up the tree after me. Let me explain. The wood of the cherry tree is hard and elastic; as such, the branches do not break easily and, in fact, are quite flexible. If one were to climb towards the end of the branch, it would just bend downward and if the branch is long enough, the end of the branch would reach the ground. Hence if one were to do it backwards, it is very much like climbing down a ladder. Many a time I have climbed down the tree this way.
The one time that my brother had climbed up the tree after me, I waited until he had almost reached me before quickly climbing down via a branch. When I stepped off the branch, it sprang back up and the whole tree shook. I could see my brother clinging to the tree for dear life, his face as white as a sheet and his eyes filled with terror as I scooted off to the hills.
My brother is one year older than me and my grandpa had named him after our town, Tai Ping, which in Chinese means “everlasting peace”. He was always prim and proper and neatly dressed with his shiny hair plastered flat onto his scalp with “Brylcreem” while I preferred the “Born Free” look and the only time I combed my hair was when I had to go to school! My brother was also all the things I never was; he was the class monitor, a school prefect, librarian and badminton captain. Sheesh! He was also so stuffy! And, being the first-born, he was also my father’s favourite. Of course, I was not envious of him! Okay, okay, maybe just a little.
Actually, I did not really want to fight with my brother; I just liked to tease him. The truth is, he is not a bad brother and we had had some good times together.
I remember during one Lantern Festival, our parents could not afford to buy lanterns for us so we decided to make our own. It was just candles stuck onto half a coconut shell and nothing like the pretty and colourful lanterns that the other kids had but, we were happy.
There was also the time when our father bought us a battered old bicycle. It was too tall for us but that did not prevent us from learning how to ride it though we fell many times. However, despite the scrapes and the bruises, we enjoyed ourselves.
Then there were the times when we secretly went swimming at Austin Pool. To reach the pool, we had to walk about a kilometer along a deserted path lined with Simpoh Ayer and Monkey Apple trees. (The Simpoh Ayer tree is short with bright yellow cup-shaped flowers, similar to the Buttercup, and large leaves which are often used for wrapping meat, fish and char koay teow (fried noodles with egg, prawns, clams and bean sprouts). The Monkey Apple tree is short with large, broad leaves and small, green, apple-shaped fruits which turn yellow when ripe. The ripe fruit has a soft, reddish flesh with numerous seeds. I now know that it is also known as the fig fruit). Mother had forbidden us to go swimming so, when no one was around, we would swim in the nude. Otherwise, we had to wait until our shorts dried before going home.
Then, he changed. He only wanted to be with his friends and I was left to play alone. Why, he even did not fly my kite with me; the kite that I made! Heck, kite-flying alone is not much fun.
When I was a kid I spent a lot of time up in the cherry tree which grew beside our house. It was my sanctuary. Whenever I had a fight with my brother, I would climb and stay up in the tree while he would be stamping around on the ground, fuming. Sometimes, he would pretend to go home but I was not that easily fooled. Soon, he would be furtively peeping from behind our neighbour’s house.
Up in the tree, I can lie down on a bed of branches with the foliage providing ample shade and I can watch when the bees, butterflies and birds drop by. The bird that I liked the most is small, fluffy, apple - green in colour and has a long, curved beak. It would hover and dart around the flowers and cherries with its wings flapping rapidly. I think it is a humming-bird. Sometimes I could spot a fellow “watcher” amongst the leaves. It is the tree lizard that we called the “tocket”. It is green in colour, about a foot long and has a fine, long tail. It has ridges on its back and a red patch on its cheek and is rather like a small salamander.
At times I would day-dream about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn along the banks of the Mississippi, the fairies, elves and leprechauns of Ireland, fishing in the South Sea Islands and so on. Sometimes I would even doze off.
You are most probably wondering why my brother did not climb up the tree after me. Let me explain. The wood of the cherry tree is hard and elastic; as such, the branches do not break easily and, in fact, are quite flexible. If one were to climb towards the end of the branch, it would just bend downward and if the branch is long enough, the end of the branch would reach the ground. Hence if one were to do it backwards, it is very much like climbing down a ladder. Many a time I have climbed down the tree this way.
The one time that my brother had climbed up the tree after me, I waited until he had almost reached me before quickly climbing down via a branch. When I stepped off the branch, it sprang back up and the whole tree shook. I could see my brother clinging to the tree for dear life, his face as white as a sheet and his eyes filled with terror as I scooted off to the hills.
My brother is one year older than me and my grandpa had named him after our town, Tai Ping, which in Chinese means “everlasting peace”. He was always prim and proper and neatly dressed with his shiny hair plastered flat onto his scalp with “Brylcreem” while I preferred the “Born Free” look and the only time I combed my hair was when I had to go to school! My brother was also all the things I never was; he was the class monitor, a school prefect, librarian and badminton captain. Sheesh! He was also so stuffy! And, being the first-born, he was also my father’s favourite. Of course, I was not envious of him! Okay, okay, maybe just a little.
Actually, I did not really want to fight with my brother; I just liked to tease him. The truth is, he is not a bad brother and we had had some good times together.
I remember during one Lantern Festival, our parents could not afford to buy lanterns for us so we decided to make our own. It was just candles stuck onto half a coconut shell and nothing like the pretty and colourful lanterns that the other kids had but, we were happy.
There was also the time when our father bought us a battered old bicycle. It was too tall for us but that did not prevent us from learning how to ride it though we fell many times. However, despite the scrapes and the bruises, we enjoyed ourselves.
Then there were the times when we secretly went swimming at Austin Pool. To reach the pool, we had to walk about a kilometer along a deserted path lined with Simpoh Ayer and Monkey Apple trees. (The Simpoh Ayer tree is short with bright yellow cup-shaped flowers, similar to the Buttercup, and large leaves which are often used for wrapping meat, fish and char koay teow (fried noodles with egg, prawns, clams and bean sprouts). The Monkey Apple tree is short with large, broad leaves and small, green, apple-shaped fruits which turn yellow when ripe. The ripe fruit has a soft, reddish flesh with numerous seeds. I now know that it is also known as the fig fruit). Mother had forbidden us to go swimming so, when no one was around, we would swim in the nude. Otherwise, we had to wait until our shorts dried before going home.
Then, he changed. He only wanted to be with his friends and I was left to play alone. Why, he even did not fly my kite with me; the kite that I made! Heck, kite-flying alone is not much fun.
Love Is Just A Four-letter Word
Love is just a four-letter word
But do you know what it is?
Believe in me, my dear friend
It’s not just eternal bliss
Puppy Love affects the young
The old, and not so old
How do you know it’s Puppy Love?
Why, it blows hot and cold
Eternal Love or True Love
Some have the privilege to share
Be vigilant, my naive friend
It could be used to ensnare
Platonic Love is the only love
That says you’re just a friend
If you want to take things up a notch
It drives you round the bend
A Lost Love is the dear one
You let slip through your fingers
You long for just one more chance
But only the memory of her lingers
Secret Love is between those
Who hide their lover’s nest
It’s clear as day the reason here
Is to prevent an inquest
Unrequited Love is so very sad
And you may never heal
There is this question I have to ask
Does she know how you feel?
Careless Love is the best of all
You don’t even have to care!
But don’t be surprised when you turn around
To find she’s no longer there
Cyber Love is the e-love
That has spread through the Internet
You can fall for one you’ve never seen
Or one that you’ve never met
Then there is this strangest of love
That’s called “No Love Lost”
It means the love for your fellow men
Must be suppressed at any cost
Love is just another four-letter word
That has been tossed around
In blogs, in mail, in the magazine
It kept us all spellbound
But do you know what it is?
Believe in me, my dear friend
It’s not just eternal bliss
Puppy Love affects the young
The old, and not so old
How do you know it’s Puppy Love?
Why, it blows hot and cold
Eternal Love or True Love
Some have the privilege to share
Be vigilant, my naive friend
It could be used to ensnare
Platonic Love is the only love
That says you’re just a friend
If you want to take things up a notch
It drives you round the bend
A Lost Love is the dear one
You let slip through your fingers
You long for just one more chance
But only the memory of her lingers
Secret Love is between those
Who hide their lover’s nest
It’s clear as day the reason here
Is to prevent an inquest
Unrequited Love is so very sad
And you may never heal
There is this question I have to ask
Does she know how you feel?
Careless Love is the best of all
You don’t even have to care!
But don’t be surprised when you turn around
To find she’s no longer there
Cyber Love is the e-love
That has spread through the Internet
You can fall for one you’ve never seen
Or one that you’ve never met
Then there is this strangest of love
That’s called “No Love Lost”
It means the love for your fellow men
Must be suppressed at any cost
Love is just another four-letter word
That has been tossed around
In blogs, in mail, in the magazine
It kept us all spellbound
Tuesday 20 November 2007
The Hum Bug
There was once a hum bug
Which can hum rock n roll
Made a number of recordings
And every song hits "gold"
Success after success
It was on a roll
Then everything came crashing down
The poor bug caught a cold!
Footnote:-
Catching a cold is fatal for humbugs.
Even if it were to survive, it would lose its voice/hum.
Which can hum rock n roll
Made a number of recordings
And every song hits "gold"
Success after success
It was on a roll
Then everything came crashing down
The poor bug caught a cold!
Footnote:-
Catching a cold is fatal for humbugs.
Even if it were to survive, it would lose its voice/hum.
Saturday 10 November 2007
No Inspiration
To write a poem, to get it right
To allow others to get an insight
But struggle I did with all my might
Heck! No inspiration. Nothing tonight
Have a rest you say and sleep real tight
Allow imagination to take its flight
I thank you all for knowing my plight
But, no inspiration. Nothing tonight
Dawn is breaking, there'll soon be light
Tomorrow is near, it shall be bright
A poem, my poem, is within sight
Yes, no inspiration. Nothing last night
A little idea, something so slight
Begins to stir, to my delight
My heart on fire, my soul alight
What? No inspiration? No. Not tonight!
To allow others to get an insight
But struggle I did with all my might
Heck! No inspiration. Nothing tonight
Have a rest you say and sleep real tight
Allow imagination to take its flight
I thank you all for knowing my plight
But, no inspiration. Nothing tonight
Dawn is breaking, there'll soon be light
Tomorrow is near, it shall be bright
A poem, my poem, is within sight
Yes, no inspiration. Nothing last night
A little idea, something so slight
Begins to stir, to my delight
My heart on fire, my soul alight
What? No inspiration? No. Not tonight!
Tuesday 6 November 2007
The Most Beautiful Catapult Ever
When I was a kid, the house we lived in is at the foot of a series of hills. A small stream which originates from these hills flowed past our house. One day, a friend and I decided to trace the source of the stream. So, we headed upstream, clambering over the numerous rocks and boulders that filled the stream and ducking under the ferns and tall grass that lined both sides of the stream. After climbing for hours and tiring from the effort, we were relieved that we were approaching the highest peak. We knew then that the end of our climb is near.
Suddenly we reached a clearing and we realized that we had reached a rubber estate. What surprised us was there was a cement pool about ten feet wide, twenty feet long and three feet high in the clearing. Now, who would want to build a swimming pool in a rubber estate on top of a hill I wondered? Slowly we approached the pool. It was almost as tall as us and when we peered inside, we were astonished to see that it was full of tortoises of all sizes! Before we could react, a man suddenly emerged from behind some rubber trees and I immediately recognized him as Mister Hendricks, a teacher in my school who was known to be quite stern. He wanted to know what we were doing there and we quickly explained to him our mission and assured him that we were not there to steal the tortoises. To our immense relief, he believed us.
We wanted to continue on our journey but Mister Hendricks refused to allow us to go further into his estate saying that the climb up the peak is very steep and dangerous. Grudgingly, we gave up our quest. Hell, we were dead tired anyway. When we bade Mister Hendricks goodbye, I swear I could see the ghost of a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes; hmm, maybe he was not that stern after all.
I used to go fishing at a small pool in the stream too. Fishing then was simple; a bamboo pole, a string and a hook. I used bread crumbs as bait. The fish that I usually caught were what we then called “white fish” which thrives amongst the rocks of swift flowing waters. These are small fish about a few inches long with pink fins and large prominent scales which are shiny and have a golden hue. I think these are a type of carp fish.
But the fish that I cannot forget was the catfish that I caught. It was very different from the other types of catfish which lives in drains and are either grey or dark in colour. This catfish was brown in colour with two white rings on both sides of its body. I have never seen such a beautiful catfish before and decided to take it home with me. I kept it in a tin of water and fed it with bread crumbs. However, the catfish refused to eat. It grew thinner and thinner and after about a week, I realized that it was homesick. So, reluctantly, I took it back to the pool where I had caught it and released it. It immediately swam under a rock without even a goodbye. Oh well, I guess it had a right to be annoyed.
The hill immediately behind our house was uninhabited and covered with brush. One day, I had climbed up the hill alone to look for the best forked branch to make a catapult. The small trees and shrubs reached up to my chin as I waded into the undergrowth. Finally, after a long search, I found the perfect fork, chopped it off and took it home with me. That night, I noticed two pairs of puncture marks on my thigh. My uncle told me that these marks were made by snake bites and that I had been bitten twice! Darn! Had that snake been venomous, my body would never have been found for no one knew that I was up in the hills that morning.
The catapult I made was a beauty with perfectly symmetrical arms shaped like the horns of a water buffalo and I was so proud! Unfortunately, I only used it twice.
The first time was one evening when, for some unknown reason, the blooming giant angsana tree near my house was literally swarmed by thousands of tiny green birds. The familiar yellow flowers of the angsana which normally cover the tree was completely hidden by a carpet of green birds and there was a loud humming sound. I took my catapult out and shot a marble straight up into the birds in the tree. The tree was about fifty feet tall and I was not sure I hit anything until I saw one of the birds detach itself from the rest and began to slowly spiral downward. When it finally reached the ground, I noticed that one of its tiny wings had been broken and I instinctively knew that it would not survive. I felt bad because I did not mean it any harm. I just wanted to hold one of these cute fluffy little birds in my hands.
The second time was when I spotted the most beautiful bird that I had ever seen among the hibiscus plants at the back of my neighbour’s house. It was dark blue in colour with shiny green patches at the breast and specks of yellow and orange all over. I shot at it with my catapult and it fell to the ground. I stared, transfixed with horror, as it thrashed about on the ground in its death throes and then suddenly, it was still. I knew it was dead. The remorse hit me hard and I flung away my catapult.
So if any of you are interested in the most beautiful catapult ever, it is still lying there, somewhere among the shrubs at the back of my old house.
Suddenly we reached a clearing and we realized that we had reached a rubber estate. What surprised us was there was a cement pool about ten feet wide, twenty feet long and three feet high in the clearing. Now, who would want to build a swimming pool in a rubber estate on top of a hill I wondered? Slowly we approached the pool. It was almost as tall as us and when we peered inside, we were astonished to see that it was full of tortoises of all sizes! Before we could react, a man suddenly emerged from behind some rubber trees and I immediately recognized him as Mister Hendricks, a teacher in my school who was known to be quite stern. He wanted to know what we were doing there and we quickly explained to him our mission and assured him that we were not there to steal the tortoises. To our immense relief, he believed us.
We wanted to continue on our journey but Mister Hendricks refused to allow us to go further into his estate saying that the climb up the peak is very steep and dangerous. Grudgingly, we gave up our quest. Hell, we were dead tired anyway. When we bade Mister Hendricks goodbye, I swear I could see the ghost of a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes; hmm, maybe he was not that stern after all.
I used to go fishing at a small pool in the stream too. Fishing then was simple; a bamboo pole, a string and a hook. I used bread crumbs as bait. The fish that I usually caught were what we then called “white fish” which thrives amongst the rocks of swift flowing waters. These are small fish about a few inches long with pink fins and large prominent scales which are shiny and have a golden hue. I think these are a type of carp fish.
But the fish that I cannot forget was the catfish that I caught. It was very different from the other types of catfish which lives in drains and are either grey or dark in colour. This catfish was brown in colour with two white rings on both sides of its body. I have never seen such a beautiful catfish before and decided to take it home with me. I kept it in a tin of water and fed it with bread crumbs. However, the catfish refused to eat. It grew thinner and thinner and after about a week, I realized that it was homesick. So, reluctantly, I took it back to the pool where I had caught it and released it. It immediately swam under a rock without even a goodbye. Oh well, I guess it had a right to be annoyed.
The hill immediately behind our house was uninhabited and covered with brush. One day, I had climbed up the hill alone to look for the best forked branch to make a catapult. The small trees and shrubs reached up to my chin as I waded into the undergrowth. Finally, after a long search, I found the perfect fork, chopped it off and took it home with me. That night, I noticed two pairs of puncture marks on my thigh. My uncle told me that these marks were made by snake bites and that I had been bitten twice! Darn! Had that snake been venomous, my body would never have been found for no one knew that I was up in the hills that morning.
The catapult I made was a beauty with perfectly symmetrical arms shaped like the horns of a water buffalo and I was so proud! Unfortunately, I only used it twice.
The first time was one evening when, for some unknown reason, the blooming giant angsana tree near my house was literally swarmed by thousands of tiny green birds. The familiar yellow flowers of the angsana which normally cover the tree was completely hidden by a carpet of green birds and there was a loud humming sound. I took my catapult out and shot a marble straight up into the birds in the tree. The tree was about fifty feet tall and I was not sure I hit anything until I saw one of the birds detach itself from the rest and began to slowly spiral downward. When it finally reached the ground, I noticed that one of its tiny wings had been broken and I instinctively knew that it would not survive. I felt bad because I did not mean it any harm. I just wanted to hold one of these cute fluffy little birds in my hands.
The second time was when I spotted the most beautiful bird that I had ever seen among the hibiscus plants at the back of my neighbour’s house. It was dark blue in colour with shiny green patches at the breast and specks of yellow and orange all over. I shot at it with my catapult and it fell to the ground. I stared, transfixed with horror, as it thrashed about on the ground in its death throes and then suddenly, it was still. I knew it was dead. The remorse hit me hard and I flung away my catapult.
So if any of you are interested in the most beautiful catapult ever, it is still lying there, somewhere among the shrubs at the back of my old house.
Monday 15 October 2007
Stupid Cupid! Start Shooting At Me!
Introduction:-
This poem is inspired by my three daughters Swee Wei, Siu Wei and Wei Wei and is dedicated to my son, KC.
If Cupid's arrow strikes you in the heart
You'll dream and yearn for his tender kiss
For it will lead you to eternal bliss
You want to be forever by his side
As a gushing, blushing, beautiful bride
You long to share with him this life
With him, the husband and you, the wife
If Cupid's arrow strikes you between the eyes
You will tremble and quiver just like jelly
Though he's short and bald, with a large pot-belly
Your love will hold him in a tight embrace
Even though you have never seen his face
You begin to like the things you once dread
'Cause Cupid's arrow has made you brain-dead
If Cupid's arrow strikes you in the butt
Your love, my dear, will be a "pain in the ass"
Yeah, those who boasts and are "full of gas"
They'll look at your "bottom" and not in the eye
And baby, it is not because they are shy
Sweetheart, be careful how you wiggle and sway
Otherwise, eyes will "pop" and "wolves" will bay
If Cupid's arrow were to give you a miss
Now, don't you just mope and cry
You've got to catch that Cupid's eye
Why can't the dumb Cupid see
That you're as pretty as can be
Hey wretched Cupid! Improve your aim
Or else, you will never shoot again
Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me!
Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me!
Hey Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me NOW!
p.s.
Just for the record, Cupid's arrow struck my wife, Sew Chin, right in the centre of the heart!
T.W.Lee
This poem is inspired by my three daughters Swee Wei, Siu Wei and Wei Wei and is dedicated to my son, KC.
If Cupid's arrow strikes you in the heart
You'll dream and yearn for his tender kiss
For it will lead you to eternal bliss
You want to be forever by his side
As a gushing, blushing, beautiful bride
You long to share with him this life
With him, the husband and you, the wife
If Cupid's arrow strikes you between the eyes
You will tremble and quiver just like jelly
Though he's short and bald, with a large pot-belly
Your love will hold him in a tight embrace
Even though you have never seen his face
You begin to like the things you once dread
'Cause Cupid's arrow has made you brain-dead
If Cupid's arrow strikes you in the butt
Your love, my dear, will be a "pain in the ass"
Yeah, those who boasts and are "full of gas"
They'll look at your "bottom" and not in the eye
And baby, it is not because they are shy
Sweetheart, be careful how you wiggle and sway
Otherwise, eyes will "pop" and "wolves" will bay
If Cupid's arrow were to give you a miss
Now, don't you just mope and cry
You've got to catch that Cupid's eye
Why can't the dumb Cupid see
That you're as pretty as can be
Hey wretched Cupid! Improve your aim
Or else, you will never shoot again
Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me!
Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me!
Hey Stupid Cupid! Start shooting at me NOW!
p.s.
Just for the record, Cupid's arrow struck my wife, Sew Chin, right in the centre of the heart!
T.W.Lee
Saturday 13 October 2007
The Lizard
I stood by the window and looked outside
And spied the lizard so bravely glide
From up the hill the bold lizard launches
To touch down safely on the Bauhinia's branches
And in case you think I'm talking crap
That cute lizard has a wing-like web
In my garden it plays hide and seek
With lots of insects and bugs to pick
Butterflies, beetles and the bumble-bee
Amongst lily, hibiscus and morning glory
Dragon-flies, ants and the ladybird
Among the flowers, leaves and dirt
When I get near the lizard remains still
Just like it would when going for the kill
With its brown colour and tail like a twig
To disguise itself, it doesn't need a wig
In my Bauhinia bush and the "chiku" tree
The brash young lizard simply runs free
One morning last week as I dig and hoe
And admire the flowers and watch them grow
Among the sugar cane the lizard did hide
Fast like lightning, the golden snake strike
With the lizard in its mouth, the snake I sight
A snake's breakfast was the poor lizard's plight
Goodbye my friend for I've been blessed
You're the first flying lizard I've ever met
T.W.Lee
And spied the lizard so bravely glide
From up the hill the bold lizard launches
To touch down safely on the Bauhinia's branches
And in case you think I'm talking crap
That cute lizard has a wing-like web
In my garden it plays hide and seek
With lots of insects and bugs to pick
Butterflies, beetles and the bumble-bee
Amongst lily, hibiscus and morning glory
Dragon-flies, ants and the ladybird
Among the flowers, leaves and dirt
When I get near the lizard remains still
Just like it would when going for the kill
With its brown colour and tail like a twig
To disguise itself, it doesn't need a wig
In my Bauhinia bush and the "chiku" tree
The brash young lizard simply runs free
One morning last week as I dig and hoe
And admire the flowers and watch them grow
Among the sugar cane the lizard did hide
Fast like lightning, the golden snake strike
With the lizard in its mouth, the snake I sight
A snake's breakfast was the poor lizard's plight
Goodbye my friend for I've been blessed
You're the first flying lizard I've ever met
T.W.Lee
Thursday 11 October 2007
Unlike Us, Snakes Don't Fight
Last week, I was in the garden when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. I turned to look and there it was; a snake with a flying lizard in its mouth. The snake was about five feet long, brown in colour with a golden strip on its side running the length of its body. It was inside the drain with its head raised high and it obviously had seen me too and looked unsure of what to do next. I stepped back to allow it to enjoy its meal undisturbed.
Now the lizard was a permanent resident in my garden, often hiding among the sugar cane, lily, hibiscus and morning glory plants. Sometimes it would also be in my chiku tree or my flowering bauhinia bush. At times, it would even come right up to my door! Friendly chap, this lizard.
It was about seven inches long, thin, golden brown in colour with a fine long tail. It had a thin web that connects its front leg with its back leg on both sides of its body and it actually glides rather than fly. I had seen it once gliding from the tall trees on the hill that faces my house onto the bauhinia bush in my garden.
I had tried to chase it away but it always returned. Maybe it likes me but I think it likes the other visitors to my garden even more – the bees, butterflies, ants, dragon flies, ladybirds, etc. Well, this morning it had finally left but my guess is, its cousin would soon be around.
The snake reminds me of another encounter I had some time back. Once I had seen two pythons mating! These were huge and they were “standing” about six feet tall, facing each other with their mouths interlocked like a dancing couple kissing. They were moving sideways with such speed and force that the small trees and shrubs in the clearing, the size of two basketball courts, were all crushed and broken. This went on for about an hour! Can they be fighting? No! I don’t think so because their “dance” looked very much like the Tango – besides, unlike us, snakes don’t fight. At least, not much.
My house is at the foot of a number of hills. The land used to be a rubber estate through which runs a small stream, shaded by the tall rubber trees. It was in this cool and fast-flowing stream that, a long time ago, my brother and I caught the Tiger Barb fish and the “Kwachi” fish. The Tiger Barb is a diamond – shaped fish with red fins and vertical black lines along its body rather like the stripes of a tiger. The “Kwachi” is a slim and silvery fish with a triangular purple patch at the rear end of its body. We were kids back then and we sure enjoyed ourselves – swimming, camping, climbing trees, climbing hills, fishing, etc. Sigh … Those were the days.
In the nearby hills was another rubber estate. On a few occasions, I had followed the rubber tappers when they went to work early in the morning when it is still dark. Every one of them had a lamp on their heads and they headed up the hill in groups, singing Chinese love songs at the top of their voices, before splitting up with each of them tapping rubber in a certain area, still singing. In the darkness, I can see the light of their lamps bobbing around like fireflies and I can hear their songs resounding through the hills. I don’t think I can ever forget this tremendous spectacle!
I believe the singing is to frighten away the wild animals such as tigers, wild boars, snakes, civet cats, etc that may have stolen into the estate from the neighbouring hills during the night and to let each other know that they are alright.
Alas, the rubber estate is no more and has been replaced by a housing estate and the hills are now covered by roof-tops instead of tree-tops. Rows of houses now stand where once were rows of rubber trees. And, the kid who once roamed these hills has now become an old man.
Now the lizard was a permanent resident in my garden, often hiding among the sugar cane, lily, hibiscus and morning glory plants. Sometimes it would also be in my chiku tree or my flowering bauhinia bush. At times, it would even come right up to my door! Friendly chap, this lizard.
It was about seven inches long, thin, golden brown in colour with a fine long tail. It had a thin web that connects its front leg with its back leg on both sides of its body and it actually glides rather than fly. I had seen it once gliding from the tall trees on the hill that faces my house onto the bauhinia bush in my garden.
I had tried to chase it away but it always returned. Maybe it likes me but I think it likes the other visitors to my garden even more – the bees, butterflies, ants, dragon flies, ladybirds, etc. Well, this morning it had finally left but my guess is, its cousin would soon be around.
The snake reminds me of another encounter I had some time back. Once I had seen two pythons mating! These were huge and they were “standing” about six feet tall, facing each other with their mouths interlocked like a dancing couple kissing. They were moving sideways with such speed and force that the small trees and shrubs in the clearing, the size of two basketball courts, were all crushed and broken. This went on for about an hour! Can they be fighting? No! I don’t think so because their “dance” looked very much like the Tango – besides, unlike us, snakes don’t fight. At least, not much.
My house is at the foot of a number of hills. The land used to be a rubber estate through which runs a small stream, shaded by the tall rubber trees. It was in this cool and fast-flowing stream that, a long time ago, my brother and I caught the Tiger Barb fish and the “Kwachi” fish. The Tiger Barb is a diamond – shaped fish with red fins and vertical black lines along its body rather like the stripes of a tiger. The “Kwachi” is a slim and silvery fish with a triangular purple patch at the rear end of its body. We were kids back then and we sure enjoyed ourselves – swimming, camping, climbing trees, climbing hills, fishing, etc. Sigh … Those were the days.
In the nearby hills was another rubber estate. On a few occasions, I had followed the rubber tappers when they went to work early in the morning when it is still dark. Every one of them had a lamp on their heads and they headed up the hill in groups, singing Chinese love songs at the top of their voices, before splitting up with each of them tapping rubber in a certain area, still singing. In the darkness, I can see the light of their lamps bobbing around like fireflies and I can hear their songs resounding through the hills. I don’t think I can ever forget this tremendous spectacle!
I believe the singing is to frighten away the wild animals such as tigers, wild boars, snakes, civet cats, etc that may have stolen into the estate from the neighbouring hills during the night and to let each other know that they are alright.
Alas, the rubber estate is no more and has been replaced by a housing estate and the hills are now covered by roof-tops instead of tree-tops. Rows of houses now stand where once were rows of rubber trees. And, the kid who once roamed these hills has now become an old man.
Thursday 4 October 2007
You're In Love
When you can give everything and still not feel empty
When the very sight of him makes you feel so happy
You're in love !
When you can feel warmth in the depths of winter
When his very presence makes you feel it's summer
You're in love !
When you can see sunshine in dark gloomy weather
When, in the still of night, you can hear his laughter
You're in love !
When you can feel his warmth even when far apart
When the memories of him fit snugly in your heart
You're in love !
T.W.Lee
When the very sight of him makes you feel so happy
You're in love !
When you can feel warmth in the depths of winter
When his very presence makes you feel it's summer
You're in love !
When you can see sunshine in dark gloomy weather
When, in the still of night, you can hear his laughter
You're in love !
When you can feel his warmth even when far apart
When the memories of him fit snugly in your heart
You're in love !
T.W.Lee
Saturday 29 September 2007
Can You Show Me The Place
Can you show me the place
Where dreams go to meet
Where wealth, success, glory
And love, I get to greet
Can you show me the place
Where hopes end their flight
Where I can pick up the pieces
And at last see the light
Can you show me the place
Where wishes mingle around
Where happiness, luck, prosperity
And "all the best" abound
Can you show me the place
Where spirits take a dive
Where bruised, battered and sore
Can still shrug, "That's life"
T.W.Lee
Where dreams go to meet
Where wealth, success, glory
And love, I get to greet
Can you show me the place
Where hopes end their flight
Where I can pick up the pieces
And at last see the light
Can you show me the place
Where wishes mingle around
Where happiness, luck, prosperity
And "all the best" abound
Can you show me the place
Where spirits take a dive
Where bruised, battered and sore
Can still shrug, "That's life"
T.W.Lee
Thursday 13 September 2007
Waiting To Walk Amongst The Clouds Once More
The year was 1983. We, a group of students, were up in the mountains of Malaysia at a place called the Cameron Highlands to study the habitat of the Bluebottle fly at the farming village of Kampong Raja, and stayed the night in a small town called Brinchang.
It was a cold night and I woke up early the next morning to answer nature's call. As I gazed out of the window, I saw it; a thick white cloud has enveloped the whole valley. Quickly, I put on my shoes and my jacket and stepped out into the cold, cold morning. The street was deserted and all was quiet as the whole town continued to slumber. Even the cicadas and birds were quiet, their voices frozen by the cold. I walked through the thick white mist from one end of the town to the other and finally, took a seat in the small park situated right in the middle of the town. The branches of the trees around me were bowed down and laden with water. The dewdrops on the leaves looked like pretty white pearls in the early morning light.
It was cold! It was wet! It was enchanting! The thick white mists swirled around me in a slow dance and then slowly engulfed and held me in a tight embrace until we were one, and my senses were dulled into oblivion. After what seemed an eternity, out of the corner of my eye, I spied the sun's rays creeping stealthily into the valley. "No! Stop! Don't intrude! We don't want you here!", I cried. However, slowly but relentlessly, the sun's rays continued their intrusion, cutting a bright swathe in the misted valley as I watched helplessly. My anguish mounted as it got nearer and nearer and as a sunbeam kissed me lightly on the cheek, I saw the cloud lift itself from the ground and slowly begin its ascent, floating past the tree-tops, up the hills towards the hilltops. As it reached the hilltops, the cloud seemed to paused, reluctant to go. Or, maybe, it was just saying goodbye. "No! Don't go!", I cried for I knew it would never return.
But, with a turn, the cloud went on its way to roam the four corners of the earth, guided by the stars and steered by the winds.
Slowly the world began to stir as I trudged wearily back to the hotel. The flowers began to gingerly lift their bowed heads to face the morning sunlight, the birds cleared their throats and began their morning song, the brook gurgled as it meandered its way through the town and smoke began to lazily snake out of the chimneys accompanied by the clatter of pots and pans as the cooks prepared breakfast. We left the mountains after breakfast that day.
One of these days, I am going to get myself a little cottage high up in the mountains. It will have a small garden where I shall plant flowers of all hues and colours and I shall sit there, amongst my flowers, watching as the clouds dance lazily in the sky. And, on a cold morning, when the clouds decide to come down to play, I shall be waiting; waiting to walk amongst the clouds once more.
"Loneliness is when you need someone's company.
Solitude is when you enjoy your own (company)"
- T.W.Lee, 9.12.2007
It was a cold night and I woke up early the next morning to answer nature's call. As I gazed out of the window, I saw it; a thick white cloud has enveloped the whole valley. Quickly, I put on my shoes and my jacket and stepped out into the cold, cold morning. The street was deserted and all was quiet as the whole town continued to slumber. Even the cicadas and birds were quiet, their voices frozen by the cold. I walked through the thick white mist from one end of the town to the other and finally, took a seat in the small park situated right in the middle of the town. The branches of the trees around me were bowed down and laden with water. The dewdrops on the leaves looked like pretty white pearls in the early morning light.
It was cold! It was wet! It was enchanting! The thick white mists swirled around me in a slow dance and then slowly engulfed and held me in a tight embrace until we were one, and my senses were dulled into oblivion. After what seemed an eternity, out of the corner of my eye, I spied the sun's rays creeping stealthily into the valley. "No! Stop! Don't intrude! We don't want you here!", I cried. However, slowly but relentlessly, the sun's rays continued their intrusion, cutting a bright swathe in the misted valley as I watched helplessly. My anguish mounted as it got nearer and nearer and as a sunbeam kissed me lightly on the cheek, I saw the cloud lift itself from the ground and slowly begin its ascent, floating past the tree-tops, up the hills towards the hilltops. As it reached the hilltops, the cloud seemed to paused, reluctant to go. Or, maybe, it was just saying goodbye. "No! Don't go!", I cried for I knew it would never return.
But, with a turn, the cloud went on its way to roam the four corners of the earth, guided by the stars and steered by the winds.
Slowly the world began to stir as I trudged wearily back to the hotel. The flowers began to gingerly lift their bowed heads to face the morning sunlight, the birds cleared their throats and began their morning song, the brook gurgled as it meandered its way through the town and smoke began to lazily snake out of the chimneys accompanied by the clatter of pots and pans as the cooks prepared breakfast. We left the mountains after breakfast that day.
One of these days, I am going to get myself a little cottage high up in the mountains. It will have a small garden where I shall plant flowers of all hues and colours and I shall sit there, amongst my flowers, watching as the clouds dance lazily in the sky. And, on a cold morning, when the clouds decide to come down to play, I shall be waiting; waiting to walk amongst the clouds once more.
"Loneliness is when you need someone's company.
Solitude is when you enjoy your own (company)"
- T.W.Lee, 9.12.2007
Wednesday 18 July 2007
Mum's Wisdom
Our neighbour, who is a young mother with small children, was complaining to mum about how her children always forget the chores they were supposed to do even after numerous reminders. It seems they always agree to do their chores but always end up not doing them. After she had finished, mum casually told her, " Well, you know what they say. To hear is human, to forget, divine".
Saturday 30 June 2007
Body Mass Index (BMI)
Took mum to the clinic for her BMI to be measured. The BMI is a measure of the weight against the height of a person and they have a chart showing the height and the expected normal weights. After they measured the weight and height of mum, they gave her the BMI chart. Mum read the chart and then exclaimed, "Oh, now I know what's wrong with me! I am too short."
Saturday 28 April 2007
Saturday 21 April 2007
Photo Collage
Dear Dad,
I think that you miss us quite badly.
Here's a nice photo collage i made from the pictures that I have of our family.
You can save it into your computer and look at it when you miss us.
Why never talk about your football matches???
Why do you still need to look for jobs??? I'm graduating already what.
Ohhhh.. is it because that fat lady keep sticking to you that you find her "fan"???
And i suspect one of the contributors dunno how to blog too.
You know... the one who doesn't post anything but only puts up comments.
And the one whose wavelength is against the flow like that of a salmon fish. Heh heh.
But i shall not mention the name cos' she's also the one sponsoring my Taiwan airplane ticket.
I think that you miss us quite badly.
Here's a nice photo collage i made from the pictures that I have of our family.
You can save it into your computer and look at it when you miss us.
Why never talk about your football matches???
Why do you still need to look for jobs??? I'm graduating already what.
Ohhhh.. is it because that fat lady keep sticking to you that you find her "fan"???
And i suspect one of the contributors dunno how to blog too.
You know... the one who doesn't post anything but only puts up comments.
And the one whose wavelength is against the flow like that of a salmon fish. Heh heh.
But i shall not mention the name cos' she's also the one sponsoring my Taiwan airplane ticket.
wat leh? u think I lulu ah? posting so simple mah. my label is home bcos this is my blog mah. why u all so surprised? only fat lady and koko dunno how to blog. Today I applied to Jobs db and recruit express and also jobs in new zealand using the net. so simple mah. only dunno the employers dunno how to appreciate me. Next i think I apply to the banks in Singapore; i got 2nd upper wat? u got meh? u dunno wat is a blog ah? aiyah, formerly hor, they call it a website la. dunno wat else to write b'cos my computerhor, cannot upload wan. if not, i upload photos for you all to see. ok la, gtg. football is next
Friday 13 April 2007
Aiyah ! What is this ?
Aiyah ! What is this ? Blogging, post and comments - all so confusing!!! Why can't we just e-mail or converse using messenger as usual. So difficult for Monica to take part. Even koko find it difficult which is why he is not a contributor. I guess this progress; just when I get use to a cell phone they now call it a PDA. But i am wildfather, so no pingpong lah!
Saturday 7 April 2007
It's confirmed. Our sis is a cow.
swee wei says:
like me, last nite i bought 2 mihun. one for dinner one for lunch today.
swee wei says:
then ah. after i pinish one packet, i kept thinking abt the 2nd packet
swee wei says:
waaaahhh think think think then ah one hour later, i eat it. i was quite peaceful after tat
swee wei says:
onli after tat i can concentrate at doing nothing
*weiwei~ says:
OMG
*weiwei~ says:
U ATE 2 PACKETS OF MIHUN AT ONE GO?
*weiwei~ says:
IYER
*weiwei~ says:
URE A COW
swee wei says:
not at one go la
swee wei says:
one after the other, at one hour apart
*weiwei~ says:
omg
*weiwei~ says:
U MAKE IT SOUND AS IF ITS A PIECE OF CAKE
swee wei says:
nahh its 2 packets of mihun
like me, last nite i bought 2 mihun. one for dinner one for lunch today.
swee wei says:
then ah. after i pinish one packet, i kept thinking abt the 2nd packet
swee wei says:
waaaahhh think think think then ah one hour later, i eat it. i was quite peaceful after tat
swee wei says:
onli after tat i can concentrate at doing nothing
*weiwei~ says:
OMG
*weiwei~ says:
U ATE 2 PACKETS OF MIHUN AT ONE GO?
*weiwei~ says:
IYER
*weiwei~ says:
URE A COW
swee wei says:
not at one go la
swee wei says:
one after the other, at one hour apart
*weiwei~ says:
omg
*weiwei~ says:
U MAKE IT SOUND AS IF ITS A PIECE OF CAKE
swee wei says:
nahh its 2 packets of mihun
Thursday 29 March 2007
Wednesday 28 March 2007
Friday 23 March 2007
Thursday 22 March 2007
Wednesday 21 March 2007
Tuesday 20 March 2007
Monday 19 March 2007
I so kho mia...
While they are out there holiday-ing in China, this is how i look like in school library... so kho lian...Sunday 18 March 2007
Saturday 17 March 2007
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