The recent cold winter and heavy snowfall in China, Canada and other northern countries has given me the idea of exporting fireflies to these countries for the winter.
I know a lot of you will be sceptical about the idea and think that the fireflies cannot survive the bitter cold. But, according to my grandpa, the “fire” in their bellies not only allows the firefly to provide light but also warmth, and he should know.
As a boy in China, during the cold winter nights when he and his siblings huddled around a jar of fireflies to study, they could feel the warmth emanating from the fireflies.
Now, I have always known my grandpa to be an honest man so I am going to believe him and not any scientific hocus-pocus that says otherwise.
I intend to sell my fireflies in 3 amounts: the 25 fireflies jar, the 50 fireflies jar and the 100 fireflies jar.
According to grandpa, the 25 fireflies jar is enough to warm one’s heart. So if you are a couple, I would suggest the 50 fireflies jar and, if you have more than one partner, then I strongly recommend the 100 fireflies jar.
If you buy in bulk, I can offer you a 10% discount. So hurry up if you are interested and place your orders with me now.
By the way, I am also looking for agents to market my fireflies. The firefly is a clean form of alternative energy and during this time of spiraling oil prices, I can assure you that this will be a very good investment. So, seize the chance. Contact me now!
However, I still have one minor problem to solve: How to feed the fireflies in your country?
Grandpa said he fed the fireflies with leaves from the “firefly” tree. In Malaysia, the “firefly” tree is a mangrove tree called the Berembang which is found lining the banks of our rivers.
First, I have tried feeding them with dried Berembang leaves but the fireflies complained that they are not fresh.
Next, I have tried feeding them with the juice from ground Berembang leaves but the fussy fireflies claimed that the juice makes them too heavy to fly.
Now, I am working on my “leaf-pelleting” machine which would turn the leaves into pellets but I am almost sure that the recalcitrant fireflies are going to say that the pellets are too dry.
So, here is my proposal. If any of you have any bright idea how to solve this problem, please contact me. If it works, I am prepared to offer you a partnership in the business.